Eph 5:11-14  "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.  For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." 

Fruit cannot be born to life without the light of day. The plant has to be fed by light in order to be of any use for nourishment and provision to give life. The same is true of your life, don't go about hiding in darkness and shame. If you want the love of God to shine into your life and make you gloriously and abundantly useful you have to stop hiding things you are ashamed to talk about. 
So the essence of wisdom is to discover what God's will is and understand that following the will of God is the way to find meaning, purpose and love in your life. 

Eph 5:15 - 17 "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,  making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." 

So don't try to escape from life through drugs and alcohol, you won't find pleasure there. You will just find another way to corruption and destruction. The Spirit of God fills you with song and a happy singing heart that is filled with gratefulness. In this way you will find your heart demonstrates that you are happily subjected to Jesus Christ and in submitting to Him you can easily submit to others.

Eph 5:18 - 21 "And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,  addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,  submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ." 

If you are married to one another you know what submission is about. You both need to learn how to give more and more. Marriage is a picture of the relationship of Jesus Christ to the people of God. 

Wives in this picture representation look to their husbands as their servant who gives himself to her, yet in submission you allow him to serve as a leader, to you. Your submission to your husband is a glad acceptance of His sacrificial love towards you.

Eph 5:22 - 24 "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." 

Husbands are a picture representation to the world of Christ sacrificial love to their wife. You give yourself up to provide her a way to be fully set apart to you in joy. You make everything about her, so she can become the glory and delight of your life. Keeping your relationship with her one of giving and provision, highlighting her beauty and purity. 
If you love your wife like Christ loves, you are truly loving yourself, for you are made one flesh in Christ. 

Eph 5:25 - 30 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body." 

You can now see marriage is not a matter of something we enter into with another person. Marriage is a sacred relationship created by in the power of Gods absolute love. Marriage in Christs' presence sanctioned and established by God is a mysterious union. It is a picture of Christ and the people He has chosen for Himself. It is a melding of two into one, unified and in harmony. 
It is built with love and respect and holds together by these unifying principles.  

Eph 5:31- 33  "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."